Saturday, January 20, 2007

Driving Record......

It seems to me, lately some people want to know why I'm not able to drive a motor vehicle. Well here goes:
I was never allowed to get a license when I was a teen. I had asked my father to help but he just said no and that was it. I went to some other family members but there was always an excuse, the car wouldn't pass the inspection, they didn't have time, couldn't get off work, always some excuse or another. So when I was nineteen years old in PA, I bought a car and drove it anyway. I had to work and couldn't get anyone to commit to driving me to and from. Well, two days later I was pulled over coming home from work for a dead inspection sticker. That one cost me three hundred dollars. The cop also had my car impounded.After that when I went back to WV and found out my Dad had helped my older Brother get a license. I thought maybe he would help me too. Wrong. Things were still the same as they were before. He wouldn't even try to help. He said I didn't need a license cause I didn't have a car. So I just went back to trying to live without one. I ended up hitchiking to VA to try to start a life for myself. After about a month of driving I was caught again. I tried to explain to the cop why I didn't have a license but he said he had to give me the tickets anyway. I felt like I just couldn't win. I ended up losing my job for not having a license.
After that I set out on the road again and ended up in SC. Greenville to be exact. I stayed there for a while but couldn't get a job and keep it long enough to amount to anything because of the whole license thing. I bounced around the country after that untill I met my x-wife in 1997. For a while she would take me back and forth to work and I managed to stay stable for a little while. by then though, my drinking was out of control again. I was mad at the world for the hand I had been given and I just didn't care anymore. But that's another story in itself.
Anyway, when I found out my daughter was on the way, I once again approached my father. This time I came with a good reason. I explained to him that if I was going to support my new baby I needed a license to be able to get a decent job and keep it. Things were stiil the the same, he was just not going to do anything to help me get my life started. This spurned more hatred towards my brother at that time and I turned to my long time friend, "alcohol".
Finally I was caught driving again when my wife wasn't feeling well and I drove to work myself. The cop let me bring her back to get the car instead of impounding it. But I still had a fifteen hundred dollar fine added to the others. It was hard to save money on a one income budget so I just let the fines go for a year untill we got our income tax and I paid eleven hundred dollars to the state of SC and only needed one thousand more to finish paying them off.
Well, the very next summer I got caught again and this time they fined me thirtyfive hundred dollars and towed our car. I began to slip into a very deep depression. Here I was wiyh a baby to raise but couldn't get ahead because I didn't have a license.
Anyway, I hope that will answer that question for everyone. It will now cost close to five thousand dollars for me to be able to get my license reinstated. I have the faith that God will provide a way for me to do that and I will get it in His time. God has told me through His word that He will take care of me no matter what ( Jerimiah 29:11) as long as I stick with Him!!! As long as I have faith I can accomplish anything.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

The Beginning........

This blog will be as much a journal as an account of my recovery and testimony to GOD. It will probably bring up some things from my past that will hurt some feelings but the only way to get over a lot of things is to "get it off your chest" as the saying goes. So I want to apologize up front for any hurt feelings, especially to you Dad. If I want to get sober this, I feel, is the only way.

My name is Robbie Woods, I'm a recovering alcoholic/cocaine addict. I'm going to start my story by telling you about my childhood.

As far back as I can remember is 1976 when I stood on the stairwell of the apt complex where we lived (the projects)I watched as my father rode away on his motorcycle with a woman who was not my mother. I was five years old at that time and my young life was just getting started. I didn't realize then that my life had a not so common start. We moved a lot over the next three years. Mostly to get away from "your dad and his drinkin", mom would say. We finally moved to a small town called Ivydale. We lived there for the next seven and a half years.We heated with wood and coal and had a garden every summer.

My mother was disabled with a most severe case of asthma, bloodpressure and weight problems too. We lived on a small welfare check and foodstamps for most of that period of my life. We (three boys) stayed with other family members some so my mother could rest once in a while. My Dad came around on occasion, sometimes drunk, sometimes not, but he did drink alot. He had a good job setting poles for the phone company. There were no child support laws back then so we did what we could and my mother knew how to stretch a penny so we did get by. We were poor but we had each other and that meant alot to me, to us, to her. When we did see my dad, he would usually only take my older brother on weekends, not always, but mostly. That part always hurt, "why can't I go?" I would ask my mom. She would always say what I needed to hear. She made it clear that she loved us all the same no matter what. I did get to go a few times but it really left a scar on that part of my life. I could not figure out why my dad didn't want me to go with him too. I was told I talked to much, or I was to fidgety. It always made me feel as though he didn't want me. That also spurned a hatred that was later turned to unfounded rage towards my older brother. It wasn't his fault but, I thought my dad didn't like me because of him..... kids

Don't get me wrong though, my brother is a model father to his five awesome kids and a beautiful wife to boot. Way to go there FIVE kids)....and all by the same woman too who, by the way is a great mother and wife. They have a beautiful brick home nestled in the mountains of WV on the banks of the Elk River near where we grew up. Yep, he's a great man whom I love and respect very much. I couldn't ask for a better big brother.

By the time I was ten I was used to seeing my mom in and out of the hospitals for asthma and other health problems. When that happened we usually stayed with my aunt Mary Ann until mom was released to go home. During my junior high years I started to become very unstable. I left home several times to get away. Then when I was fifteen the unthinkable happened, mom died. It was December 17th and was almost time for Christmas break. At that point in my life I was in the office constantly for stupid mischeif, talking in class,paperwad fights,foodfights,etc. Nothing really bad anyway. So when the girl from the office came to my choir rehersal I didn't think much of it. When I got to the office I saw my father, along with my Aunt Mary Ann and her two oldest girls. That's when I got this weird feeling in my gut but I played it cool, like any self respecting teenager would."Hey Dad, what're ya'll doin here?" I asked.(at least I think I did)The next five seconds will be engraved in my memory forever. Mary Ann looked at me and with tears in her eyes said,"It's your mommy, her heart stopped, she didn't make it." I looked at my dad and asked,"my mom?" To which he replied,"Yeah son." After that we picked up my older brother from the dentist office and I just sat there in a crying stupor wanting to just wake up from this nightmare, but it wasn't a nightmare at all, it was the cold, hard truth.Next we proceeded to make the twelve mile ride to my little brothers elementary school. Her baby boy. When they told my younger brother I wanted to just make it all better for him but I knew I couldn't. I just wanted to run and never stop. I couldn't bear to listen to that little boy scream so I ran to the bathroom and hid. I couldn't face him. And I never did tell him I was sorry for walking away at such a tender moment.

And that is the beginning.............

That was for me, the beginning..............